making my life miserable :(

Im not happy..why?
because there's no happiness..
is it important?
yes! of coz indeed..its all i ever wanted..
why is it so hard to have it?
is it cause i dont deserve it?
im sooooo sad... :'(

i know she wants the best for me n my future..
she wants me to be easy..
i know that..i know all..
but only she doesnt see it in me..
why?because im not close to her..thats all...
she's like wants nowdays like the old days..
she must understand my situation and era now...
im not like her old days..
she just doesnt get it..
im very dissapointed with her and she's very very dissapointed in me..
she wants me to be perfect but i cant be as perfect as she wants..
no one can be right?
mybe she went wrong ways in my eyes..
im only 16..and next year is my only year and thats it..
my future...
i know what im going through, i've planned through the early days..

she just dont understand me :"(